This one has the misfortune of having to chase a kidnapper (whoвЂ™s also an acrobat, given his police-evading climbing abilities) whoвЂ™s brought his victim to a reservoir, and proves a hero in the noblest and kind of depressing way possible. ThereвЂ™s the German Shepherd police dog (the one in the TMZ video) whose human master is lonesome. Then Bailey dies, and the movieвЂ™s next hour is about the different forms the dog takes before finding his ultimate purpose. All of EthanвЂ™s All-American hopes and dreams and optimism are snatched from him, and off he goes to a lonely life at agricultural school.

(This is all the more disturbing since, if youвЂ™ve been following the cause and effect action closely, itвЂ™s strongly implied that the guy lost his job partially on account of the dogвЂ™s bad behavior.) EthanвЂ™s envious, resentful football teammate pulls a prank that causes appalling damage. DadвЂ™s hard drinking becomes full-blown shambling and striking-out alcoholism. (Not actually true no вЂњHangoverвЂќ writers were employed in the making of this film.)

Just what the world needs, вЂњOld YellerвЂќ rewritten by вЂњ The HangoverвЂќ team. In voiceover, Bailey says вЂњMy butt itches.вЂќ Great. She grabs the dog by his shiny, lustrous scuff and scratches under his neck. Teenage Ethan eventually meets a girl, Hannah ( Britt Robertson), and the cutie is charmed by Bailey, whoвЂ™s curious about her and her smell. When the humor isnвЂ™t overstated, itвЂ™s kinda inappropriate. Things move amiably enough, but the slapstick involving rambunctious Bailey (for so is the pup named) often escalates to a level that would get another dog sent to two weeks at a training camp or something. Along comes young Ethan and his feisty mom ( Juliet Rylance) to rescue the pup, give him water, and adopt him, despite the doubts of good-natured but hard-drinking traveling salesman dad. Nevertheless, this idyllic depiction of America when it was Great Before features rogue sanitation workers who come upon a Red Retriever puppy and reckon they can make a few bucks selling it вЂ¦ only they leave it to dehydrate in their vehicle as they go to lunch. Co-produced by Amblin, Steven SpielbergвЂ™s production shingle, it begins in a Michigan early 1960вЂ™s thatвЂ™s been production-design burnished to a nostalgic fare-thee-well. And that one dog, the one whose voiceover is enthusiastically articulated by Josh Gad, gets reincarnated a sufficient number of times to fulfill the purpose of redeeming the existence of his former master. No, it is meant to be an inspirational tale based on the notion that dogs exist to be of service to humans. But вЂњA DogвЂ™s Purpose,вЂќ directed by Lasse HallstrГ¶m, who also directed вЂњMy Life as a DogвЂќ (not really a dog movie) and вЂњHachi: A DogвЂ™s TaleвЂќ (absolutely a dog movie), is not supposed to be a realistic depiction of the misfortune our differently-individuated fellow creatures fall into in this world. DonвЂ™t even get me started on that pig in BertolucciвЂ™s вЂњ1900,вЂќ although I presume he was enjoyed by those who eventually ate him in the form of tasty sausage.

On the other hand, that girl slapping the cat around in вЂњSatantangoвЂќ was really slapping a cat around, and somehow I donвЂ™t think the horse that was standing on the platform of the wooden staircase that collapsed in вЂњAndrei RublevвЂќ got up and trotted away.

A dogs purpose german shepard video